>I’ve been angry the past several months at a friend of mine, today I finally realized why. She was/is doing the same things I’ve done in the past that caused me more heartache than any human being should be allowed in a lifetime. When we love someone we want to spare them pain, I didn’t want her to repeat the patterns/mistakes I’ve made. That’s what is so wonderful and yucky about life, we have to learn things for ourselves. No matter how much I want to warn her, or try to convince her about what to do – I can’t. It’s her life, to make decisions, to make mistakes, or to do what she feels in her heart. No one could have changed my decisions or convinced me, why do I think what I have to say makes any difference? All I can do is do what all of my wonderful friends did, allow me to make my own decisions and be there in case my heart hurts later…

I’ve always heard the things you dislike in others are the things you dislike about yourself. I never believed it fully until today. I was angry at her and really only angry at myself. Of course she knows this, took me longer. Apparently no matter how much I think I’ve moved on from my past, I’m still embaressed by some of my past choices. In the end, that’s what’s so great – they’re mine. 😉 In the words of Alanis (Morisette in case you aren’t on a first name basis, as in my case)…you live, you learn.

Today I’m grateful for locksmiths, shopping malls, and BFFs.



  1. >Beckster, finally got around to your blog after only a brief visit before. I wouldn’t say you were far from cool, unless you want to be of course. I think we’re as cool as we wanna be. We may not be cool to others but if we feel cool in our own skin, well, cool! You are just about as cool as a human can get, great combination of maturity, awareness, altruism and in touch with your inner kid. Quarter life crisis…funny…I had SEVERAL mid-life crisis…got them out of the way very early, before mid-life even. As long as we stay youthful in heart and mind we never truly grow old. As for your friend…yeppir..as much as we love them, there is only so much we can do for them sometimes and while it might be frustrating watching them go through tough times despite our best efforts to help we console ourselves with the knowledge that all we can do is siimply love and support them the best we can, any way we can. Your friends are lucky to call you a friend. Peace out. Beags

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