So often my mind gets overwhelmed with all the things I want to do and accomplish in this lifetime. How can I possibly have time to be a great yoga instructor, Feng Shui consultant, U.N. Ambassador, Happy News TV reporter, maybe a mom, a wife, and author? I truly believe I can achieve anything and I also realize I can’t do everything – especially not all at once.
Accomplishment for me quickly becomes based in my mind wanting to prove something and never feeling good enough. It strives to be a “good on paper girl” who is Superwoman (I even drink out of a mug with her on it) and somehow always balance a career, social life, spiritual practices, giving back to the community, and staying in shape. I put so much pressure on myself to be and do all of this.
Except for freshman year in college where I cared about nothing besides drinking and eating donuts – this part of me ruled my life. I held several different positions in my sorority, was president of a club, on student council, played sports, got good grades, was a mentor for Big Brothers Big Sisters, and taught classes at the gym. All in attempts to some how prove I could do everything all at once and better than anyone else. In the end I hardly had enough time for myself let alone my friends, was stressed, had major stomach issues, and was all in all sometimes just plain miserable.
After college I continued the trend with having two jobs for quite some time (one government pr job during the day and then serving tables at night), being in Junior League, volunteering on a community board, planning community events, being a gym rat, take self-improvement classes weekly, competing in Miss Colorado, and even attempting to date more than three men at once.
When we do too much we don’t do things well. Looking back on my life a lot of the things I have done came from wanting to do it all and in the end “it all” was unfulfilling. No more good on paper (or Internet as the case may be now), I’m all for a “good in life girl” – taking myself off the paper into life!
I don’t have to be in the best shape of my life, get straight As in grad school, date 14 men at once, go out every night, teach yoga, work, meditate for hours everyday, volunteer, eat perfectly balance meals, and become a master chef. What I can do is focus on just a few things that bring me the most joy and pleasure and make those my priorities. Being a “good in life girl” means I know my limits and recognize when I’m doing something out of needing to prove something versus wanting to make a difference. Remembering often – I can do anything and not everything.
Today I’m grateful for Happiness Project book, library, and long plane rides.